i fucking hate the world we live in. i need to find somewhere dark to hide, away from the fake voluntary smiles from fake ass people. somewhere empty and quite to free this resonating guilt that's been echoing in my ears, breaking my head. somewhere, just me, you, and christmas lights. such place does not exist, so til then, my wrists will look sloppy.

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i've buried my love deep inside you, be the light that it grows to. with you, my heart is right where it belongs. i love you Meagan Marie Walker <3

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Happiness: A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Pleasure, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishments. Thanks Wikipedia, now I know how to be happy. You know what's sad? There's not a shred of sarcasm in me writing this. Lol..

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dear happiness, you're a fucking drain. i'll give up on myself, i'll simulate you on my own.. dear someone, send me something real to ignore or explore. send me something good for the way that i feel.

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sometimes i wonder how i'm still alive, i must have a guardian angel.. wait no. fuck, i just remembered i'm an over dramatic emo bitch about everything, and that flirting with death is a choice i subconsciously make. blah, cut, blah. the cunt nurse said i wouldn't need shoes where i was going (5150). the doctor put 20 staples in me then said i was too drunk to talk to a social worker. the social worker said i needed help. my therapist says i need antidepressants. now i wonder if this is the really the end. god i hope so, my wrists are looking sloppy. so everyone, here it goes.. hello, my name is anthony, and i'm an alcoholic and sex addict.

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it's safe to say i know myself better than anyone. it sad to say i really don't know who i am. it hurts to say that i want anthony to stay. i'm numb to say anything, so just go away..

goodbye laceration clarity, hello therapy. goodbye old self, hello social anxiety.